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Friday, December 21st, 2007
I was recently given a little, safety blade, hand held Scotch Paper Cutter. (Exhibit A).
The paper cutter came in one of those ultra hard polyurethane plastic bubbles. (Exhibit B).
I needed scissors to open the plastic.
I cut myself on the shredded, sharp plastic edge of the bubble.
Kind of ironic - don't you think?
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Monday, December 3rd, 2007
Candi the Wheel Bug, 1 season old, Assassin Bug extraordinaire, dies
She began as a 'first instar nymph'. Her career of assassination ranged from the humble Housefly to the frightening Paper Wasp. She was well respected for her lunging, pinning and fluid sucking endeavors.
Robert F. found the body Monday morning in her Pittsburgh terrarium. The cause of death is unclear. Local authorities are interviewing Robert as a 'person of interest' since Robert was the last person to have access to her terrarium. Brian L. a concerned coworker reported that Robert had been heard happily discussing the 'end game for the Candi relationship': namely that she would be pinned on a board.
Candi the Wheel Bug: You shall be missed. We hardly knew ye.
Candi is survived by two egg clusters.
The body will be on view all week. A secular service and memorial will be held at her terrarium on Friday.
Donations can be made in her name to the 'Candi Conservation for the Orphaned Assassin Nymph Protection Fund'.
Morgue Photo: Candi (left, foreground) and a host of her assassinated bodies. Photo by Brian L. via iPhone.
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Thursday, November 15th, 2007
On Tuesday November 13, Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue gathered three Protestant ministers, a gospel choir and a crowd of nearly 250 citizens on the steps of the state capitol building to pray for rain.
Wow. Where to start? Well, how about theologically?
Does god directly control the rain?
If no: - If this is part of the clockwork of the universe that it is imagined that god set in motion, who is the governor to ask her to change it? (Just to mix things up a bit, I'm going to assume that god is a woman for this argument. It makes as much sense to think that god has a vagina as it does a phallus although I'd bet that Governor Perdue is convinced that his god packs a penis.)
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If yes: then why have such a 'small prayer'? Why ask god for rain only for your small little region? Drought affects a lot more people than Georgia - and most of those in third world countries - MUCH, MUCH more severely. |
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Is it imprudent to petition god for such a big favor? Or is god incapable of granting such a big favor? If she is capable, and at all willing, why not ask for a permanent cessation of drought? For that matter: why not petition for a permanent cessation of all suffering?
In fact, why should we even have to ask? Isn't god watching? Or is it considered 'part of god's plan'? If it is part of the plan, then why solicit her for favor at all? If god has a master plan that includes allowing people to suffer, isn't a prayer to change any of that rather presumptuous and ultimately futile?
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Or can we ask god to deviate some from her plan? If so, how much is too much? Is that for god to decide? Or does she need our 'votes/prayers' to decide? And weren't people praying without the governor's help? Or, as an elected official, does he carry extra influence with god?
Next up: separation of church and state'
Should an official of the government, in an official (or even semi-official) manner promote his religion on the steps of one of our government buildings?
For this, I'm just going to take a well written argument from the Americans United for the Seperation of Church and State website:
"Jefferson knew that any government-sanctioned religious exercise, even if merely recommended, would endanger citizens' rights.
In the same 1803 missive, he wrote, 'But it is only proposed that I should recommend, not prescribe a day of fasting & prayer. That is, that I should indirectly assume to the U.S. an authority over religious exercises which the Constitution has directly precluded them from. It must be meant too that this recommendation is to carry some authority, and to be sanctioned by some penalty on those who disregard it; not indeed of fine and imprisonment, but of some degree of proscription perhaps in public opinion.'
Madison also tried to avoid government meddling in religion. Although he acquiesced to Congress' requests for prayer proclamations during the War of 1812, he expressed sincere regret after leaving office.
Prayer proclamations, he wrote in his Detached Memoranda, 'seem to imply and certainly nourish the erroneous idea of a national religion'.The last & not the least objection is the liability of the practice to a subserviency to political views; to the scandal of religion, as well as the increase of party animosities.'
Two of our greatest founders struggled with government-led prayers over 200 years ago. They came down firmly on the side of church-state separation in order to preserve government's secular duties and citizens' religious liberties. It's ridiculous, really, that our leaders aren't doing the same today."
If you doubt that this is an issue, just ask yourself what fallout would have occurred if the Governor was Hindu and presumed to ask Indra (god of rain) to intervene in the name of the people of Georgia.
As for the magical affects of the Governor's spell?
If any moisture fell that day, it was from Governor Perdue's pissing on every American's right to not have the government trouncing around in their religion (or even, {gasp}, lack thereof.)
10 Day Weather Forecast for Atlanta Georgia
"I think . . . that philosophy has the duty of pointing out the falsity of outworn religious ideas, however estimable they may be as a form of art. We cannot act as if all religion were poetry while the greater part of it still functions in its ancient guise of illicit science and backward morals. . . ."
- Corliss Lamont
"Think of how many religions attempt to validate themselves with prophecy. Think of how many people rely on these prophecies, however vague, however unfulfilled, to support or prop up their beliefs. Yet has there ever been a religion with the prophetic accuracy and reliability of science?"
- Carl Sagan
"Baloney, bamboozles, careless thinking, flimflam, and wishes disguised as facts are not restricted to parlor magic and ambiguous advice on matters of the heart. Unfortunately, they ripple through mainstream political, social, religious, and economic issues in every nation."
- Carl Sagan, "The Demon-Haunted World"
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Monday, November 5th, 2007
The Candi Chronicles have proven to be very popular, and I for one, like to give the people what they want. So, here is the third installment in the saga of one Assasin Bug.
My colleague, amateur entomologist, medical illustrator and defacto Candi wrangler Robert Finkbeiner has been kind enough to prepare this report:
"House centipede and harvestman (daddy longlegs) apparently died on their own, although it is possible Candi is responsible for one or both. The house centipede was very large and fast - doubtful Candi could have subdued it long enough for a good stab. She actually did grab the harvestman by a leg -- but was unable to stab it mid-femur, and couldn't reach anything but femur -- so she eventually had to simply let it go.
Wood louse (potato bug/rolly-polly) put up a good defensive struggle by clutching a chunk of gravel to its soft underbelly, escaping the first time - leaving Candi to stab ineffectually at the stone she was left holding. The same tactic was less effective later, Candi eventually torqued gravel and wood louse enough to find the gap in-between with her rostrum and make the fatal stab.
The first brown marmorated stink bug is still untouched after 3 weeks, during which time Candi has had little to eat. Of course the stink bug has had nothing - unless it ate some of the pumpkin guts we gave it while I wasn't looking. Glen's smaller stink bug (based on the dark hind wing patch, I'm guessing they are both males, but the original was much bigger) didn't last more than a day, but again, I think Candi was not implicated in the death.
Have taken to supplementing the insect foods with cherry jelly provided in a coffee stirrer, and a capful of water in the terrarium has allowing all of the bugs to occasionally take a drink.
She's already eaten one Western Conifer Seed Bug and we introduced another today.
Another assassin (zelus sp. nymph) brought in by Colleen has started exploring a good deal more - managing to stay under Candi's radar, but still not realizing it's small enough to fit through the slats in the terrarium cover and simply escape.
Another orb weaver spider hasn't been seen in a while, and is presumed dead.
We opted not to introduce the black slug - in addition to some question as to whether it would be palatable, we didn't like the idea of filling the terrarium with trails of slug snot."
So there you have the latest. As the temperatures drop, its getting harder to find bugs to feed her. Hopefully she can live off of Jelly.
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Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007
I can't rightly complain about the weather this summer. It was pretty darn spectacular: which is to say warm / hot with lots of sun and minimal undue rain.
We've even been lucky enough to have summer leak into fall, with the weekends featuring temperatures in the high 70s. And this weekend, it is almost as if the lingering summer sun caused the green leaves to burst into flames of fall colors. Sure, we've had some subtle warm yellows, oranges and reds leak into the pallet but before this weekend, green was in the vast majority. Now I look outside my office window and Mount Washington has the appearance of a fall themed miniature scale railroad set.
As for today: warm temperatures but gray skies. I expect I'll be able to whine about the weather soon enough. Already I'm waking up in the morning while its dark outside and I can feel the great gray oppression settling in for the long winter.
In other personal news. - very personal news in fact: Amazon.com has formulated an opinion about me. On my personal account, under recommendations - along with various books, CDs, movies, video games and electronics - the computer has made this particular recommendation for me:
Really, I have nothing to add to this since my choices for humor would seem to be either bravado or self-depreciation and I choose neither. But I have to say that I've never bought any form of birth control on Amazon.com or any other site, so the fact that it arrived at this suggestion based on my browsing and purchasing history is pretty entertaining - and has got to leave you wondering...
I also enjoyed reading the user reviews and I liked this one in particular from S. "strap" (Honolulu, HI) :
"Who are these made for? Elephants? I highly doubt the most prodigious of woodmen would need a jimmy hat this big. I certainly can't find a human use for them, other than to slip over my head when it's raining. That does a good job, until my hair gets gooey from the lube."
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Tuesday, October 16th, 2007
The Wolf Spider didn't last the night but it doesn't appear to the handiwork of Candi since the spider doesn't have the tell-tale signs of desiccation.
Candi is too particular to eat was she doesn't kill. So walking back from lunch today, a group of us scoured a local city park and building window sills for further bugs meals for Candi to no avail.
Dead Wolf Spider. (Robert F.'s handfor scale). Photo by me via BlackBerry.
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Monday, October 15th, 2007
Candi update.
To date Candi has eaten:
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Spider # 1
Spider # 2
Cricket
Beatle Grub
Fly
Moth
Wasp
Moth # 2
Spider # 3
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Today Dave S. brought her a Wolf Spider (Spider #4)- which looks rather formidable. In fact, there was some considerable debate that perhaps Candi had met her match.
Wolf Spider. (Robert F.'s finger for scale). Photo by Brian L. via iPhone.
The Wolf Spider appears to outweigh Candi but Candi is clearly the top predator. She's made several attempts on the spider but given its size, strength and speed she can't seem to nail it down.
Candi the Wheel Bug (background) stalks the Wolf Spider (foreground). Photo by Brian L. via iPhone.
The day-to-day grind of office life is such that watching Candi stalk the Wolf Spider is about as fascinating as being on the plains of Masi Mari watching a lion stalk gazelles - hence, coworkers gather around and monitor Candi's progress throughout the day.
Left to Right: Robert F., Dave S., Chuck B., Jeneen A., Sean Z. watches the live drama of 'Nature Attacks: Wheel Bug versus Wolf Spider'. Photo by your host. via lousy BlackBerry camera.
As I write this in the evening: Candi had still not mastered the wolf spider after 8 hours of stalking. (And she is hungry given the fact that she went all weekend without a snack.)
Also noteworthy: Candi appears to have laid eggs and there has been a stink bug in the terrarium for about a week that has not been eaten. Apparently smelling bad is a really good defense.
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Friday, October 5th, 2007
One of my colleagues (Robert F.) is something of a bug aficionado. In fact he has a website that will allow you to name a bug after a loved one. It's akin to those 'name a star' websites - and just as official: which is to say not at all. Still: if you are looking for a unique present for somebody - his website: BugName.com has to qualify as a geeky but cool place to start.
Since Robert is known for his insect proclivities, another colleague (Dave S.) brought in a little critter he found on his garage door. It turned out to be a pretty neat specimen: a Wheel Bug.
Initially the bug was going to end up skewered on a pin in Robert's collection but the office has taken to her. (After some research, it was deemed that it is a 'her' due to the size of her abdomen.) It was also determined that a stripper name was appropriate so she is now called, 'Candi '- with an 'i'. So Candi has at least a temporary reprieve from the pin - although when her time is up, I'm sure she'll be well preserved for posterity.
Candi the Wheel Bug. Photo by Brian L. via iPhone.
In the meantime, we've learned a lot about Wheel Bugs (for example: they are part of the 'family' of 'assassin bugs') and it has become something of a concerted effort to find other bugs to feed her. So far the tally (in order) is: two spiders, a cricket, grub, fly and a moth.
The sprocket like 'wheel' on the back of a Wheel Bug.
We've updated Candi's digs from the original mason jar to a high-rent plastic terrarium complete with colored pebbles.
Candi dines on a moth. Photo by Brian L. via iPhone.
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Monday, September 24th, 2007
Business has brought me once again to the charming, and little known hamlet of New York City. I fancy that I wouldn't mind living here - but only for a couple of years I should think. As Mary Schmich wrote in her essay, 'Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young', 'Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.' (Also known from the Baz Luhrmann song, 'Everybody's Free [To Wear Sunscreen])'.
Alas, I've never lived in New York City or California - northern or otherwise. Pittsburgh has its charms but my wander lust has gone un-allayed for far too long so I feel the rhythm of New York as a hypnotizing pulse. This metropolis is so vibrant and diverse: a truly exciting American city with a heaping dose of the surrealism which so strangely makes me feel grounded.
The Fuller Building A.K.A. The Flatiron Building
Vignettes of the city: - Last night I visited a street fair and rode a Ferris Wheel in the middle of Manhattan. - This evening, as I walked down 7th Avenue, my nose was confronted with a dozen powerful smells in the course of 25 feet: some good, some bad: tasty foods, the smell of nature blown in from some nearby park and the tang of ordure as a subway blew by blasting hot air from the grated sidewalk corridor beneath my feet.
A view from a NYC Ferris Wheel of a festival
Long term, I think that NYC would get to me since there is a real hassle to living here as well. - The unnatural uncomfortable annoyance of beaurocrats, regulations, nearly constant pavement and horn honks. And although I love the city, unlike many New Yorkers, I don't believe that civilization begins and ends here - and even if it does, I love the uncivilized spots in the world more.
But on my way back to the hotel, the nearly full moon was visible low on the horizon through a canyon of buildings, bright white next to a golden skyscraper. - Summer officially, over I could feel the heart of the city through the sidewalk on this abundantly warm fall night.
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Thursday, August 23rd, 2007
At the risk of sounding like a country song or a poster in a teenage girl's room, I have to say that I think dogs are some of the best things in the world. Dogs are the great companion of the human race. Their virtues include virtually unconditional love (some affection, food and water help), protectiveness and loyalty. For being a different species, they so often demonstrate the best of what we could hope for our own race.
sadism
noun
1. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty.
2. Extreme cruelty.
I don’t give a rats ass about football, so I sure as hell don’t give a damn about Michael Vick’s supposed talent at the game. But even if football was my favorite thing in the world, I'd like to think that I'd have the moral courage to be appalled and disgusted by Michael Vick.
The man is a sadist. He takes pleasure in extreme cruelty.
To make his brutal and barbaric deeds all the morally worse, he was a man of means. An excuse can’t even be pretended that this is some thug scraping some mean money off the street for his own survival.
> I was going to post a photo here of what a dog looks like after a dog fight. It was too gruesome. If you don’t believe me, Google images for dog fight and you'll see images to sicken the heart and stomach of any decent person. <
So, I was amazed to hear fans on the radio calling as apologists, concerned about his career. Where are these people’s outrage? You have a terrible personal defect if you care more about a game than showing your anger and disapproval over a man who shot, hung, electrocuted, drown and tortured dogs for amusement and money.
Angry? I encourage donations to Pittsburgh’s no-kill animal Shelter: Animal Friends.
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
- Mark Twain
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Monday, August 6th, 2007
Minneapolis Bridge collapses: it's a miracle! - Or so it would seem from much of the news reported about the Minneapolis Minnesota Interstate 35W bridge disaster.
On the morning after it occurred I watched the morning shows and in the same breath after reporting some of the deaths the anchor 'personalities' happily started speaking about the 'miracle' of the school bus that was not plunged to the depths. Minnesota Deputy Police Chief Rob Allen said, 'If you ever need proof of the hand of God, just look where that bus is two seconds later, there's a massive fire right where the cab of that truck is, and those kids would have been killed in a fire. Two seconds earlier, and it's in the river.'
More recently, on the radio I heard of Laura Bush's visit to the disaster. I heard her asking the bus driver isn't it great how god smiled on the children(?)...
If the miracle advocates are saying that god is pulling strings here, I can't help but wonder what the criteria is for a job well done.
Here is the tally of the 'miracle' as I see it:
Mammoth Bridge collapse (with a cost which may exceed a billion dollars - a billion dollars which could be spent doing something else worthwhile).
13 dead (5 confirmed dead - 8 others presumed dead)
Some 79 people injured (including a bus load of children terrified, traumatized and injured)
Sure the bus could have driven off the edge and the children could have died. On the other hand, the bridge could have collapsed at 3am in the morning (that is: if we assume that it was part of god's 'plan' to have it collapse at all) then no lives might have been lost at all.
For me, this talk of god sparing some people and letting others die is an insult to those who did die. It implies that their lives are somehow less worthy. What about the children who lost a parent? Wasn't god smiling on them? Or was it more of a wink and a nod to them? 'Hey, I could have had both of your parents killed kid - count yourself lucky! Wink!' Are we to tally the fact that a boat full of doctors and orphans wasn't killed in the collapse as part of the miracle's success? - You know, if god hadn't arranged their safety through several twists of the supernatural, there would have been a cruise full of care workers and their charges floating down the Mississippi at that moment! But they weren't there - it's a miracle!
If the qualifications for a miracle are 'it could have been worse', then I'd like to get that written into my job evaluation. 'Hey Glen, you lost us a million dollars this month, but it could have been two million, so we're giving you a raise and a corner office'.
The idea of the devil actively creating disasters 'hands on' in our world isn't as popular as it once was or I'm sure he'd get the credit for the bridge collapse.
For my part, I don’t think that any devils or deities had anything to do with it. And for the positive side of this tragedy, I salute the numerous human heroes who put themselves at risk for strangers that they'd never met before.
'Fear of things invisible is the natural seed of that which everyone in himself calleth religion.' - Thomas Hobbes, "Leviathan" (1651)
"Those afraid of the universe as it really is, those who pretend to nonexistent knowledge and envision a Cosmos centered on human beings will prefer the fleeting comforts of superstition. They avoid rather than confront the world. But those with the courage to explore the weave and structure of the Cosmos, even where it differs profoundly from their wishes and prejudices, will penetrate its deepest mysteries." - Carl Sagan
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Monday, July 30th, 2007
Day to day life is full of so much mediocrity. This weekend I saw Pixar/Disney's Ratatouille and I was reminded of what excellence looks like. I'm not sure if you need to be a connoisseur of animation to see it, but Pixar's animation is utterly brilliant. They are the Mozart and Michelangelo of animation. They could have made the same story with adequate animation and maybe made the same amount of money but they didn't: they went the extra mile and delivered a quality of work that is stirring to observe. Bravo.
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Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
When I use to go on vacation, it would recharge me. Now when I come back from vacation to the grind of day-to-day life, it just depresses me.
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Tuesday, June 26th, 2007
I walked across Smithfield Street Bridge to Station Square for lunch today - as is my want on beautiful summer days.
The sidewalks on the bridge frequently have puddles of dried puke: usually more than one at any given time. I don't know why. I can only assume that they are from drunks either coming from the bars at Station Square, or those heading from the city bars to the parking lots on that side of the river.
Most of the puke puddles are pretty close to the railing which makes one wonder if the up-chucker tried to project it over the railing and into the river but failed.
If they failed, why? Did they suddenly have a drunken sense of vertigo as they staggered to the edge before deciding that it was unwise?
If they didn't even try for the railing - that's rather odd as well, since a drop to a river just begs for barfing.
The scary thought is that perhaps the residual piles of bile represent only a fraction of the vomit. Perhaps the vast majority of pukers make it to the edge and the frequent sidewalk vomitus is only representative of 5% of the actual puking that is happening every week.
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Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
Six years ago today I launched this site. My time to write and post has diminished a bit but I still manage to write something for the main section of the site (Worldview, Friends & Family) at least once a month. So here's to me, here's to my site and here's to you for reading it.
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Thursday, May 10th, 2007
Frequently my neo-conservative friends will wail in grief for the corporate world: complaining about how much industry suffers under all of those silly, oppressive, environmental, 'hippie' regulations. Most often cited is the notion that environmental regulations cost jobs. But that argument is a logical fallacy of a false dilemma. Our choice is not 'work' or 'environment', because challenges present opportunities. The challenge of creating and sustaining environmental friendly industry represents untold business opportunities. Not to mention: it can be deadly to prioritize jobs for habitat.
This is analogous to the notion of safety regulations in factories, mines and offices that companies argued would cost money and jobs during the industrial revolution. The idea of safety equipment, decent working hours and wages and other rights brought to us by (the now frequently villainized) unions were once argued to hurt the company 'bottom line'. But even though the history of how those improvements have been wrought are so often forgotten, I know of nobody who would willing forfeit these rights.
Now, I won't say that there aren't some bad environmental regulations (just as there were/are bad union practices) but it is foolish to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Speaking of bath water or (more importantly) drinking water; here is an example of what happens to an industry zealous country that doesn't trouble itself with trivial thoughts about protecting the environment:
Beijing, China: Xu Jiehua (r), the wife of the detained Chinese environmental activist Wu Yilong, sits behind water samples collected by Wu Yilong from Chinese urban rivers and lakes.
Photograph: Teh Eng Koon
Hey, at least the plastic bottle makers have jobs! Drink up!
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Friday, April 27th, 2007
I've been watching old Mission: Impossible reruns. (Kids: there was a TV show before Tom Cruise made his bastardized movies.)
There is always a keen anticipation when mission leader Jim Phelps would receive his mission on reel-to-reel tape and it would conclude:
'As always, should you or any of your IM force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim.'
They always showed a close-up of the hissing, smoking tape and it was like holding your breath until you saw it.
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(On the earlier shows, Jim Phelps predecessor Bruce Geller got his mission on LPs. - They self destructed in cloud of smoke as well.)
On one of the shows I was watching (a two part series where they infiltrated a crime ring rigging boxing) Mr. Phelps got his message on a boat. He was instructed to dispose of the message in 'the usual fashion'. I was horrified to see him plunk it into the lake! No smoke - no self destruction: just littering! ...They must have exceeded their budget that week. |
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Friday, March 29th, 2007
Our work conversations are suffused with high levels of geek. Super hero conversations are especially popular.
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Today's speculations centered on the animated series Super Friends' 'Apache Chief'. By speaking the word "Inuk-chuk," ("Big Man") Apache Chief could grow to vast sizes. The debate was about whether or not the Chief maintained his density at all sizes. This was an important point since among my colleagues it is viewed as good character development if the super hero in question must also suffer from the benefit of having the super power.
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So the question arises, would you accept the Chief's super power of growing to giant size if it meant that you must always have a giant's density even when human sized? Things to consider: breaking furniture and an inability to ride in a typical vehicle due to your giant weight; crushing that special loved one if not careful when making out.
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Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
I had popcorn and caramel filled Reece Peanut Butter cups for dinner last night.
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Friday, February 2nd, 2007
Behold the nobel and wise Groundhog!
Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Early Spring
"Phil did not see his shadow today which, according to German folklore, means folks can expect an early spring instead of six more weeks of winter..
Since 1886, Phil has seen his shadow 96 times, hasn't seen it 14 times and there are no records for nine years, according to the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club. The last time Phil failed to see his shadow was in 1999."
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Tuesday, January 30th, 2007
From time to time at work, a birthday or similar card is circulated for everybody's signature.
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You sit at your desk and the last coworker who signed it hands it to you for your signature. The challenge is to be an earlier signer otherwise you must analyze the considerable list of scrawled names to determine who you can pawn the card to. Like the homeless begging for alms the unfortunate last signer wanders from cube to cube looking for a kind soul who will help them with the burden. Hand outstretched, pleadiing over and over again, 'Have you signed the card?', 'Signed the card?'...
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